When you grow up, I hope you have kids just like you...

I'm not going to mention any names in this post, knowing that years from now, while surfing the web archives, my daughters will stumble upon my writings.  One of my little girls got the "bad girl" gene combo.  It's a recessive trait, so will only be expressed if both the father and mother pass it along.  As a good boy, I'm obviously carrying the "bad girl" and "bad boy" gene sequence, neither of which are expressed because both are recessive, resulting in a male with a pleasant attitude.  Based on my wife's demeanour on most mornings of our 20 years together, she is carrying a double dose of "bad girl" gene.  There was a 50% chance we were having a bad girl, and we did.

In their earliest years a double bad girl gene carrier will show a tendency towards grumpiness when hungry or tired (this will continue to be the case throughout life making mornings difficult for any man married to a bad girl).  They will cry whether boob or bottle is at their lips.  She'll cry harder if she is removed to burp.  A bad girl decides at the spur of the moment if putting her down will elicit angry screams or picking her up is far worse.  When hungry, she'll arch her back, head to the sky, eyes squeezed shut and she'll howl with the pitiful cry of the truly starving.  A bad girl waits for you to finish her diaper change before releasing another torrent of urine, not all at once for certain; she makes the decision on just how much to allow to flow to prolong the butt wash game late into the night.  Soothers won't sooth a bad girl, nor will daddy's stories before bed.

The bad girl is known by many different names:  drama queen, attention seeker, squeaky wheel, diva, prima donna or future actress.  The thing is, between little moans and bellowing cries, there are moments of calm filled with big eyes and fluttering lashes.  When fists unclench and legs stop bicycling she'll strike a pose of serenity or wrap her body around yours in an all over hug.   No matter what you call them, or how late they keep you up, you love them so much it hurts.

Please note, that I don't actually believe in a bad girl gene, nor do either of my little girls demand any more attention than I am willing to give.  I am thankful for every moment I have to spend with them, whether those moments are filled screams or laughter.  The truth is, the melodramatic, over the top, attention seeking attitude runs in my family.  I have fallen victim to a much repeated saying around our dinner table "When you grow up, I hope you have kids just like you..."

That said, if there is a bad girl gene, they definitely got it from their mother...