mmmmmm...Soylent Green

"...is brought to you by Soylent red and Soylent yellow, high energy vegetable concentrates, and new, delicious, Soylent green. The miracle food of high-energy plankton gathered from the oceans of the world"

It's shocking, when I think about what my wife is going through to bring these new beings into the world.  She's actually cooking up two little people.  Our girls are what is known as Di Di twins.  This term is an abbreviation of Dichorionic-Diamniotic, meaning that they each have their own placenta and amniotic sack.  This worries me a little, they will already be used to having their own space, and if they take after their mother, they will enjoy their alone time as well (I'm not sure if it's alone time, or just not Brian time that my wife really enjoys).  After they are born, they are going to be sharing a room...actually for the first 6 months we'll all be sharing a room, with the girls snuggled up in the same crib.  I'm hoping the twins inherit their sleep gene (sorry for the technical term) from their mother.  I don't sleep well.  If they do take after me, then the snoring and loud snorting will keep them awake, or startle them into crying.  Not to worry though, my wife assures me that she'll stop the nightly cacophony when the girls arrive.

Like I said, with Di Di twins, they each have their own placenta.  The placenta is an extra organ that my wife developed and is basically the life support system of rocket ship mom.  No one has really spoken to us about the placenta, nor about what happens to it after the kids have escaped.  We've been told the basics I guess, it's considered medical waste and is either disposed of (typically incinerated) or sold to a cosmetics company.  Ya, cosmetics...it's used in many wrinkle creams or skin smoothers.  Right now some of you are recoiling in horror...why would anyone use discarded human tissue when they could use a neurotoxic protein like botulinum toxin (botox) on their face instead?

There are several cosmetics companies that advocate the magical properties of the placenta, and to be honest this is a belief upheld by many cultures around the world (most don't smear it on their faces though).  Many cultures adhere to strict burial ceremonies. 

In Cambodia the placenta is linked to the well-being and mental health of the mother.  It must be buried in the correct location and orientation and then covered with a spiked plant to protect if from evil spirits and dogs. 

Other cultures believe that the placenta is a living being that will do the newborn harm if not properly buried.   In the Aymara tradition of Bolivia the placenta is buried in a secret location to prevent it's spirit from reclaiming the life of the child.

Korean traditions include naming the placenta.  On the third day after delivery, a ritualistic cremation (the afterbirth along with rice husks) is performed and the ashes spread along a roadway to promote longevity of life for the baby.

Placentophagy is the practice of ingesting the placenta (hey...you've got it on your face, so no judging).  In China and Hong Kong the dried placenta is thought to be a healthful restorative and is used in some traditional Chinese medicines.

"It's people. Soylent Green is made out of people. They're making our food out of people. Next thing they'll be breeding us like cattle for food. You've gotta tell them. You've gotta tell them!"

I was actually introduced to this theory many years ago, when one of my friends (the first among us to become a dad) told me that he had kept the placenta, and had cooked it up with some onions.  He and his wife then ate it for dinner (I stopped eating at his house after that).  I don't know if it's all that common here in North America, but it is a growing practice.  There are many companies that offer services such as placental art, umbilical cord heart sculptures and a variety of methods for cooking or drying the afterbirth.

We've discussed it, and my wife is not interested in keeping the placenta.  I personally would be open to burying it and planting trees a top.  It is an amazing organ (two in our case) that will sustain my children up until the moment they are born, so I understand the reverence that some cultures have for it. 

Nor is my wife at all interested in ingesting the afterbirth.  She didn't specify her reason, but I think it might be because we will have two of them, and there is no way she could finish one all by herself.  Regardless of her reasoning, she did say "NO!" to it's consumption, but I have not yet showed her this delicious and refreshing sounding recipe:

The Placenta Smoothie (immediately postpartum)

• Supplies Needed:
• Placenta
• Sharp knife
• Blender
• Yogurt (your favorite flavor) or Orange Juice  
• Frozen fruit (your favorites – try to include Vit C rich fruits and some red/purple fruits)

Directions: Cut off one or two 2-inch cubes of placenta. Place them, raw, into the blender. Add your base of choice (either yogurt or orange juice) and your frozen fruits of choice. Blend until smooth. Serve in a tall glass. The dark fruits will disguise the color of the placenta and the taste is just like any other fresh smoothie. It is a great way to start your postpartum recovery and it reduces immediate postpartum blood loss.


Our babies are due in August, and if the summer weather so far is any indication of what is come then it's going to a scorching month.  I encourage everyone to stop by for a visit, enjoy a bbq or a sweet frozen slushy drink...